today has been one of those... weird days. not real happy, not real sad... just sort of existing today. i just wanted to feel SOMETHING, so i went to kickboxing and worked out extra-passionately. nothing. went to the bird sanctuary and wandered its looping pathways. about halfway through my walk, i saw three old men sitting under the reach of a large oak tree's shade. the sunshine shimmered through the branches illuminating the faces of these men. they sat silently, all three sharing one bench. i couldn't stop thinking about these men and their stories. they shared this silent moment with such ease... the way that only true or lifelong friends can. seeing them shot a pang of jealousy through my heart, as i realized i was walking the trail alone. see, the thing is that it's been a real rough week and its times like these that make you feel even. more. alone. my body has been freaking out lately without a lot of explanation and it's frustrating. i was so blessed to have both my mom and venessa accompany me to a doctor's appointment this week. still, its been bittersweet because venessa had to go be responsible or something and go back to her real life, and i once again realized that i dont have a bff in this town. danny has been really supportive and while he has the crafting abilities of four girls hidden away in his six foot four frame... it doesnt take away the fact that sometimes you just want a girl to grab coffee with that understands your superficial laments, and listens... not because they're married to you, but because they choose to listen and their heart hurts along with yours.

in other news, i never posted all those pictures i have for you to see... crap! one of these days you'll actually SEE that i DO work for anthropologie and that i DO a lot of side projects. and i DID finish that cupboard and it looks... okay... while you're waiting on me though to actually post my projects, you should check out the blog of ruthi auda. she also works at anthropologie and does a MUCH better job of documenting that. her commentary with the pictures really sheds some light on the way things work at anthro... plus, she's adorable, so go show her some love.

additionally, it's a big uh-oh for you people. i have discovered ffffound.com and vi.sualize.us on the same day. this means one of two things: you will either love all the new and fun and beautiful images i find and post... or you will be really annoyed with me and my new crush. i know, i know, i'm light years behind on these... i kept seeing the links to these places but for some strange, very out of character reason, i never clicked the links. image on left ffffound here!